The Blythe Archives:
The Emperor X Online Journal
|20100721
||How to Win a Fight Without Throwing a Punch
I was waiting for my order from Burrito King in Echo Park, seated at the aluminum counter and killing time by making tomorrow's to-do list, when two teenagers walked up and stared at me. The shorter and more muscular of the two put his face about six inches from mine. I could smell the booze on his breath as he slurred, "What you writing there, some white people sh*t?"
"It's my to-do list for tomorrow. Why do you care?" I replied. I met his gaze and moved my face towards his, closing the already narrow gap between our noses. We were almost touching.
"Don't get all up in my FACE," he shouted.
"You're the one who's up in my-" I started, but was interrupted by the owner of the burrito place, who leaned out of the pick-up window and yelled at the kids in Spanish: "What's going on here?!?"
"Nada," the pair shouted back, defiant, backing away and glowering at me.
"Estan me molestando," I said, equally defiant, munching on a piece of bread, glowering back. "They're bothering me."
The next thing I saw was his right hook headed for my left eye. It was too late to duck it completely, but I flinched and turned away from the blow. It landed on my jaw just where it connects to the skull. The sound it made when it landed was pretty awesome -- a few quick crackles and a deep, fleshy "WHAP!"
The attack caught me off guard, but my assailant seemed more surprised than I was. Probably drunk and overconfident, he'd expected me to crumble to the ground or run away crying. Instead, I got up calmly from my seat, moved towards him with raised fists, and said something to the effect of, "What was that, a little p*ssy punch? You thought that was going to drop me? Come on, try and take me down, you little f*cker."
My ridiculous, adrenaline-fueled false bravado really got to him. His eyes, which before my taunting showed the satisfied cruel humor of an unchallenged bully, turned to blazing black beads of hatred and panic. He might have charged me, but his friend, a large, gentle-seeming kid, held him back. As they backed away I walked slowly towards them, fists raised and filthy curses flying out of my mouth. He made an effort to look like he was struggling to break free, but it was all for show. He could have come at me again had he really wanted to. I followed them from a distance for a few feet as they retreated to the other side of the street. We glared at each other as they walked away. I made sure they broke eye contact first.
Once they'd gone, I sat back down, munched on some more bread, and continued to wait for my order. My jaw was a little sore, but the burrito was hot and delicious.
4 Comments:
I wish I could've been there to stand by your side as your sidekick and I'm pretty sure my mouth would've said some filthy Spanish words... I loved your story, great writing. :D
Adrián Orozco
Burrito King is always hot and delicious.
too bad some of the patrons are also always drunk and dickish
god i hate dumbasses. you show em, chad!
i think you are filling the carter shoes there perfectly, not only using the drums but wearing the machismo too! good job!
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